When I left for college I had the full intention that at some point in the next four years I would meet the person that I would spend the rest of my life with. My parents, who have been married for 29 years, met their senior year of college at a restaurant/bar on their campus. My dad tells the story of how he saw my mom in her jeans, turtleneck, and cowboy boots and thought she was "something else" and knew immediately she was the one. So what was I supposed to expect? Well of all things I did not expect I would be graduating in three months and still be single.
I can count on one hand the number of real dates I have been on the past four years. However, I can't count on one or even two hands the number of "hookups" I have had. But as crazy as this sounds, almost all of my friends can say the same thing. My college relationships that you will hear about in later Meltdowns all started from a "hookup" rather than a date. Somewhere in the past couple of years I really stopped expecting guys to ask me out on dates like they did when my parents were in college, because with our generation, that just doesn't really happen. I'm getting pretty sick of having to live my life with such low expectations, and I think that other girls should be sick of it too.
I want a guy to have to build up the courage to ask me out to dinner, rather than drunkenly ask me at the bar if I want to walk back to his house for the night. I want to get nervous butterflies in my stomach waiting for him to come to my house and pick me up, not check my phone all day to receive a text I know he will never send. I want to stress over the outfit I am going to wear and make all of my girlfriends come over and watch me try on the endless options, rather than search for the items of clothing I lost the night before around his bedroom trying to escape before he wakes up. I want to feel the awkward pause when he puts the car in park before he leans in for the first kiss, not kiss him in the morning knowing he will probably act like he doesn't know me the next time I see him.
The art of dating is lost and I want to find it again.
Keep Melting,
-Em
Tuesday
Sunday
Like a Virgin
It was a Tuesday afternoon, I was in my school uniform, and he didn't even take off my shirt. Yep, this is how I lost my virginity. I was only 16 when it happened, and I was sure that having sex meant that this guy that would be the one, oh how wrong the 16 year old version of myself was. About a week later, I heard through the grapevine that Virginity Stealer had cheated on me. The rumor was Virginity Stealer had gotten a blow job in a closet at a party while I was away for the weekend.
And then came the first Meltdown...
I was sure that this had to be just a rumor. It must have been another guy that got a blow job in a closet and the names had just gotten mixed up. He had told me that it didn't happen over and over again, so maybe I should just believe him? I mean we had been dating for a grand total of two months, five years in the eyes of a high school junior, so he would never do this to me. I thought it just couldn't be true, so that's what I chose to believe. I stayed with him, and a few days later...he broke my heart.
"You're too good for me," said Virginity Stealer. "Then why don't you keep me around?" I embarrassingly pleaded. But in that moment I already knew it was done for. He was ready to move on to the next, while I would spend the next month crying on my bathroom floor, mourning the loss of my virginity.
Keep Melting,
-Em
And then came the first Meltdown...
I was sure that this had to be just a rumor. It must have been another guy that got a blow job in a closet and the names had just gotten mixed up. He had told me that it didn't happen over and over again, so maybe I should just believe him? I mean we had been dating for a grand total of two months, five years in the eyes of a high school junior, so he would never do this to me. I thought it just couldn't be true, so that's what I chose to believe. I stayed with him, and a few days later...he broke my heart.
"You're too good for me," said Virginity Stealer. "Then why don't you keep me around?" I embarrassingly pleaded. But in that moment I already knew it was done for. He was ready to move on to the next, while I would spend the next month crying on my bathroom floor, mourning the loss of my virginity.
Keep Melting,
-Em
Here is My Meltdown
So here we go, after many journal entries and pressure from friends, I have decided it's about time I let the rest of the world in on my bizarre, funny, and sometimes terrible stories and experiences I have had the past three years. These are the stories of a VERY single twenty year old college student, and although it may seem like some of them are scripted...they are all very true, minus a few forgotten drunken details, or things just a tad too inappropriate to share on the Internet.
As I reminisce on most of these experiences, I laugh, because my timing and luck is something out of a bad romantic comedy....but I also am quickly reminded of the number of heartbreaks I have experienced, which is more than the average twenty year old I can promise you that. Having said that, my main goal in sharing my stories and thoughts is to give those heartbreaks a greater meaning, and share the many things I have learned from them. It is much more than to get a few laughs or make sure when I'm forty I remember I used to be fun.
My intention in starting this blog is to shed light on a much greater issue that myself and my peers face today; we are the "hookup generation". This is a term I have heard thrown around in magazines and newspapers articles, and it is the only phrase I can think of to describe the strange and shocking social interactions I experience every weekend with twenty-something guys. Our love lives are fast paced, just like our technology...we want everything instantly, and to feel loved is just another one of those things.
So the real question is...what comes next? If you've already done it all on day (or night) one, what is there to look forward to? As a girl who dreams of prince charming, and sits on Pinterest in class looking at wedding cakes and engagement rings, this whole "hookup" culture scares me to death and is really starting to cramp my style. If you don't already understand the uncouth ways of college boys circa 2015, then I am about to blow your mind, and if you were not already concerned for the future love lives of our generation...you are about to be.
Keep Melting,
-Em
As I reminisce on most of these experiences, I laugh, because my timing and luck is something out of a bad romantic comedy....but I also am quickly reminded of the number of heartbreaks I have experienced, which is more than the average twenty year old I can promise you that. Having said that, my main goal in sharing my stories and thoughts is to give those heartbreaks a greater meaning, and share the many things I have learned from them. It is much more than to get a few laughs or make sure when I'm forty I remember I used to be fun.
My intention in starting this blog is to shed light on a much greater issue that myself and my peers face today; we are the "hookup generation". This is a term I have heard thrown around in magazines and newspapers articles, and it is the only phrase I can think of to describe the strange and shocking social interactions I experience every weekend with twenty-something guys. Our love lives are fast paced, just like our technology...we want everything instantly, and to feel loved is just another one of those things.
So the real question is...what comes next? If you've already done it all on day (or night) one, what is there to look forward to? As a girl who dreams of prince charming, and sits on Pinterest in class looking at wedding cakes and engagement rings, this whole "hookup" culture scares me to death and is really starting to cramp my style. If you don't already understand the uncouth ways of college boys circa 2015, then I am about to blow your mind, and if you were not already concerned for the future love lives of our generation...you are about to be.
Keep Melting,
-Em
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